Thursday, February 09, 2006


In a vain attempt to lighten things up a bit, the award winning and possible future pulitzers at LothlorienPath have dug up this amazing piece in world history for your enjoyment:

For all of us who feel only the deepest love and affection for the way computers have enhanced our lives, well, this Bud's for you:

At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated,

"If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25.00 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon."

Not to be outdone, GM quickly issued a formal response to Bill's comments in a press release stating:

" If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the following characteristics":

1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash twice a day.

2. Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would have tobuy a new car.

3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason. You would have to pull to the side of the road, close all of the windows, shut off the car, restart it, and reopen the windows before you could continue. For some reason you would simply accept this.

4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the engine.

5. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable,five times as fast and twice as easy to drive - but would run on only five percent of the roads.

6. The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning lights would all be replaced by a single "This Car Has Performed an Illegal Operation"warning light.

7. The airbag system would ask "Are you sure?" before deploying.

8. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you outand refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the doorhandle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.You would look like a totaly moron but would not care.

9. Every time a new car was introduced car buyers would have to learn how to drive all over again because!- none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car.

10. You'd have to press the "Start" button to turn the engine off.

11. The chances of replacing the factory AM/FM radio with an enhanced IPOD/MP3 receiver might cause the unit to overheat, catch fire, thereby blowing up your car, your home, and half a city block, resulting in possible damage to the MP/3.

Stupid move. No one messes with someone who spends more on hair regeneration treatments than the annual revenues of Iceland.

Soon after, Bill Gates ordered all of his "personnel" to buy up as much GM stock as possible (while shorting the shit out of it at the same time)-
then dumping it quickly, but not before circulating the dirty rumor that GM tried to shelve Mass Transit a long long time ago.
O, and that the CEO might be gay.

Well, that did it, and if you own any GM shares, you might soon earn the right to proudly frame them with your Enron Shares above your fireplace mantel in case you run out of newspaper.
credits: me (i'm shy) & my(not shy) mother in law(forward)

To Serve our customers better, we here at LP have started another (less dark)
blog that will have the lite genre as this,please feel free to visit, praise, criticize,contribute..whatever. THE JESUS CAMP MOVIE!! OUT IN NOV 2006 A MUST SEE!


Blogger Kathleen Callon said...

I've read something like this list. I think one of my geology professors shared it, but... (drum roll) sorry, you've been tagged (Twice in one week? You're a popular guy.)You get to pick your own image seeing as how you probably won't like mine.

See my newest post for details.

7:41 PM  
Blogger Rach said...

To funny! I had a good giggle reading that list from GM. hee!

8:40 PM  
Blogger AJ said...

Kath, in the light of such overwhelming response I {{shudder}} to ask when
you might have seen it.
But in truth, it was the first time I saw it, or remember
seeing it,
which might be even more depressing...

o well,on to darkness!

10:41 PM  
Blogger Lew Scannon said...

As I was reading it, my windows froze several times. I thought it was my ISP.

11:26 PM  
Blogger AJ said...

Lew, Im sorry to hear that...

working on one more that might have you start voting republican again...
or not

12:43 AM  
Blogger Kathleen Callon said...

Haven't taken geology in a couple semesters...

1:25 PM  
Blogger AJ said...


2:43 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home